The Thai translation of Bangkok is “City of Angels”, but it's no mistake that “bang” and “cock” found each other in the English version. No place for the holy, Bangkok is proudly home to more than two recognized genders, a moist variation of ping-pong and a thriving sexpat population. Thailand’s hedonistic capital is synonymous with sex, so dig through your skanky backpack for some hole-free rubbers and let OTP help you put them to use in Southeast Asia’s sexiest city.
Your one-stop-backpacking-sex-shop is Khao San Road. Travelers from all over the globe congregate here in a boozed-up, whiskey-bucket haze of fake Ray Bans, pad Thai and casual sex. If you’re not suffering from fully-fledged yellow fever, this is where you need to be. Every evening, beginning at 6pm, hot ladies and gents line the streets of Khao San, avoiding their run-down $3 hostels by consuming endless drinks for pocket change. Walking up to that chick you’ve been eying all day is easy as long as you have a bucket of booze in each hand (purchased from any respectable Khao San street vendor), an endearing smile and enough money to buy further buckets when the conversation runs dry. Before long, that $3 shitbox hostel will serve as an international love nest.
OTP Tip: Ladies, Bangkok often draws men specifically looking for Thai women, leaving many foreign females lonely. As such, Khao San is a great spot to get friendly with equal-opportunity lovers.
If you have a hard-on for the seedier side of BKK nightlife, put on some rubber gloves, un-pack that hidden gimp mask from your backpack, jump in a taxi and head to Patpong (Silom area), Nana Plaza (Soi 4) or Soi Cowboy (Soi 23). These three spots are the epicenter of fetish-filled days and happy endings. Dying to see ping-pong balls popping from no-no places? Patpong hits the jackpot. Looking for a rent-a-girlfriend? Soi Cowboy and Nana plaza will be your ports of call. To work out your virgin kinks, follow these rules to pro-stardom:
- Don’t pay a fee to enter a go-go bar. Walk in like your average Joe sexpat.
- Having a drink in your hand is expected at all times. You will pay more for booze than normal at places like these (at least $5 per drink).
- Look with your eyes, not with your hands.
- No pictures. You won’t want to upload them to Facebook anyway.
Bangkok is the gay-friendliest city in Asia and a feast for the eyes at that. Silom Soi 2 or Soi 4 offers more meat than a butcher’s table and both are complete with a thriving bar scene, abundant massage parlors and clothing-discouraged saunas. Each spot has a fun, multicultural vibe with public displays becoming VERY affectionate. Game here is arbitrary. Show up, flash a little flesh and you're money.
The third gender of Thailand, kathoeys (ladyboys), are scattered throughout the country, with an abundance in the capital. You may be surprised to find that the gorgeous, petite Thai woman you’ve been glance-fucking all night is packing a meat pistol. Telltale signs like an Adam’s apple and unusually large forearms are often a good measure of gender, but the only way to really tell if she is actually a he, is a proper feel test. This is ballsy and not always fool-proof, so judge accordingly. Or you can just ask.
On the off chance that you walk on a much purer path, check out a few of the clubs at RCA (Route 66) which is full of university students going wild and on Sukhumvit Road, where Bangkok's most desirable hang out. Bed Supper Club (Soi 11) is guaranteed to be wall-to-wall eye candy and since you're not paying for a lady, you will be spending cash on entry ($20) and drinks ($10 per).
The Land of Smiles, where sex is as plentiful as sun, has more hook-up options than you can shake your horny stick at. Pack some protection and bask in the glory of the ‘Kok. No matter how you choose to feed your sexual appetite, this place will never let you go hungry.